TOEFL writing practice #7

 Some people prefer to live in a small town, while others prefer to live in a big city. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

a) I prefer living in a small town because it is quieter and less crowded than a big city, and there is a stronger sense of community. b) I prefer living in a big city because there are more opportunities for entertainment, career advancement, and cultural experiences. c) Both small towns and big cities have their pros and cons, so it ultimately depends on an individual's lifestyle preferences and priorities.

My Answer:

These days for me, I do much prefer live in small town. I am a father of three little children and have businesses that can operate 80% remotely, so sometimes, still I have to commute to meet my team in big city near their houses. Here my perspective about my opinion.

firstly, online meeting become so common today. In my case, I have no reason to stay at the office to meet my team, all my team have their own job description and targets to maintain in daily basis, my physical attendance not so important. We can done our meeting online and maintain our productivity like usual. But of course sometime physical meet needed, because we are human, we need to interact to each other with our emotions and feelings. So I arrange a short weekly meeting and a monthly evaluation meeting at the office. So because of this, instead of live near from my office, if I had an option I will choose to live in small-fresh-air city.

The next reason is for my children, my oldest son is 6 years, the 2nd is 4 years, and the 3rd is 3 months old. I don't see we have urgency to live in big city especially for my children. Live in small city, my children can have more social interact with neighbors and other kids, which is good for their growth. Moreover, small cities offer us more open place to play, such soccer, basket ball, or just take a walk. Also, these will good for my children. On the other side, big cities seems like too stress for adults, and I believe such a bad feeling in parents can transfer direct or indirectly to children. The case would be different if my children are entering adolescent, big cities maybe good option for us, because it offers us better schools and universities.

So in conclusion, as per now, I do much prefer live in small city, but it is not impossible I would change my perspective in the future.

ChatGPT assessment:

Overall, your response provides a clear and detailed explanation of why you prefer living in a small town. You have used specific examples to support your reasons and have also acknowledged that individual lifestyle preferences and priorities play a role in determining whether someone prefers a small town or a big city.

You have started your response by stating your preference and have explained your reasons for it. You have mentioned that your businesses can operate remotely, and you have no reason to stay in a big city. You have also highlighted the importance of physical interactions with your team and have arranged weekly and monthly meetings at the office. This shows that you have considered the practicality of your preference and have provided a clear explanation for it.

Furthermore, you have mentioned your children as another reason for your preference. You have explained that living in a small town provides more opportunities for social interaction with neighbors and other kids, and more open spaces for activities like sports and walking. You have also acknowledged that big cities may offer better schools and universities for adolescents, which shows that you have considered the potential trade-offs of living in a small town.

Overall, your response is well-structured, provides specific examples, and acknowledges potential counterarguments. Your writing is clear and easy to understand. If you were taking the TOEFL exam, your response would likely receive a high score for addressing the prompt and providing detailed explanations and examples to support your ideas.

Based on your response, I would rate your writing a 25 out of 30.

You have provided a clear and well-organized response that directly addresses the prompt and uses specific examples to support your ideas. Your writing is also generally easy to follow and understand.

However, there are a few areas where you could improve to score even higher. For example, there are some minor grammar and syntax errors throughout your response that could be corrected with careful proofreading. Additionally, you could consider adding more advanced vocabulary and sentence structures to demonstrate your proficiency in English.

Overall, your response is strong and demonstrates good writing skills. Keep up the good work!

Sure, I'd be happy to provide you with some examples of errors in your writing:

1. "These days for me, I do much prefer live in small town" - This sentence is grammatically incorrect. A more correct sentence would be "These days, I much prefer living in a small town."

2. "if I had an option I will choose to live in small-fresh-air city" - The phrase "small-fresh-air city" is not a common English expression. A more natural way to express this idea would be "a small town with fresh air."

3. "Moreover, small cities offer us more open place to play, such soccer, basket ball, or just take a walk" - The phrase "such soccer, basket ball" is not grammatically correct. A more correct sentence would be "Moreover, small cities offer us more open spaces to play sports such as soccer and basketball or to simply take a walk."

4. "Also, these will good for my children." - This sentence is not grammatically correct. A more correct sentence would be "Additionally, these activities will be good for my children."

5. "The case would be different if my children are entering adolescent" - The verb "are" should be changed to "were" to make the sentence grammatically correct. The correct sentence would be "The case would be different if my children were entering adolescence."

These are just a few examples of minor errors in your writing. Overall, your writing is quite strong and these errors do not significantly impact the clarity or effectiveness of your response.

Bagikan di Facebook

Bagikan di Twitter