Writing #2
Reading Passage:
It is widely recognized that ancient Greek philosophy has had a profound impact on the development of modern Western thought. A significant portion of contemporary Western ideas and belief systems trace their roots back to the philosophical musings of ancient Greek philosophers such as Plato, Aristotle, and Socrates.
Plato’s Theory of Forms, for instance, significantly influenced our understanding of metaphysics. This theory proposes that non-physical forms represent the most accurate reality and this philosophical thought has shaped the way Western societies conceptualize ideas and ideals. Similarly, Aristotle's empiricism laid the groundwork for the scientific method, championing observation and logical deduction as the path to knowledge.
Ancient Greek philosophy has also deeply permeated Western political thought. Aristotle’s "Politics", a foundational text in political philosophy, presents theories of democracy and constitutionalism that continue to underpin Western political structures.
In ethics too, Greek philosophy leaves an indelible mark. The Stoic philosophy, advocating for detachment from material possessions and tranquility of mind, influences modern self-help and personal development philosophies.
Finally, Socratic questioning, a method of inquiry popularized by Socrates, is a mainstay in modern education. This technique encourages critical thinking and self-examination, embodying the quest for knowledge and understanding that is characteristic of Western education.
Listening Transcript:
"Today, I'd like to discuss the influence of ancient Greek philosophy on modern Western thought. While the importance of Greek philosophy can't be overlooked, its influence is often overstated.
Let's take Plato’s Theory of Forms, for example. While it's true that Plato's ideas have been influential, they are not the only basis for our understanding of metaphysics. Descartes and Kant, who built upon but also critiqued Plato, significantly influenced modern metaphysical thought.
In terms of scientific method, the influence of the Islamic Golden Age and scientists like Ibn al-Haytham can't be ignored. Ibn al-Haytham's emphasis on empirical evidence and experimentation significantly contributed to the formation of the scientific method as we know it today.
Regarding political philosophy, while Aristotle’s theories are important, modern Western political structures are a result of a confluence of many ideas. For instance, Enlightenment thinkers like Locke and Rousseau and their theories on human rights and social contract theory have been equally, if not more, instrumental.
Furthermore, the Stoic philosophy of ancient Greece, while influential, is not the sole progenitor of modern self-help ideas. Eastern philosophies such as Buddhism and Taoism have also played a significant role in shaping these thoughts.
Lastly, Socratic questioning, though important, is not the only method of promoting critical thinking. Modern pedagogical techniques have drawn heavily from a range of educational theorists like Piaget, Vygotsky, and Montessori."
The question:
Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt on specific points made in the reading passage about the influence of ancient Greek philosophy on modern Western thought.
My writing answer:
The reading passage has a stance that Greek philosophy gave significant influence to Western thoughts. On the other hand, the professor on the lecture said it is overrated. Both statements from the reading passage and the professor compared to each other discuss on the following paragraphs.
The reading passage mention Plato’s Forms and Aristotle’s empiricism have give significant impact to today’s Western societies’s conceptualize ideas, ideals, observation, logical deduction, etc. All of those were lead to what we call scientific method. However, the professor criticizes this statement. According to her, there were not only Plato and Aristotle that popularized these ideas, but also the Islamic golden age. One person at Islamic golden age named Al-Heidn already use scientific method in the past that factfully it influence Western societies today.
Regarding the politics, the reading passage explains concept of democracy was introduced by Aristotle’s Politics that deeply permeated Western political thoughts. Differently, the professor argue this, democracy has been built from concept of human rights, which exist to today not only because ancient Greek philosopher.
The next one is ebout ethics. According to the reading passage, The Stoic philosophy which focus on mind has influences modern self-help and personal development philosophies. The professor arguing this statement by give the fact that actually self-help or kind of a things already developed on eastern culture, for example Budhism.
Lastly, the reading passage explain about Socratic questioning has become a foundation for modern education and critical thinking. Once again, the professor has different point of view. According to her, Egyptian has done sophisticated system of education that adopted by western culture today.
Please assess my response based on this:
The TOEFL iBT® Writing Scoring Rubric—Integrated Tasks is used to evaluate responses based on different levels of performance. Here is a breakdown of each level:
Score 5: A response at this level demonstrates a successful selection of important information from the lecture and presents it coherently and accurately in relation to the relevant information presented in the reading. The response is well organized, and occasional language errors, if any, do not result in inaccurate or imprecise presentation of content or connections.
Score 4: A response at this level generally selects the important information from the lecture and presents it coherently and accurately in relation to the relevant information in the reading. However, there may be minor omissions, inaccuracies, vagueness, or imprecision in some content from the lecture or in connection to points made in the reading. The response may also have more frequent or noticeable minor language errors, as long as they do not significantly impact clarity or the connection of ideas.
Score 3: A response at this level includes some important information from the lecture and conveys a somewhat relevant connection to the reading. However, it may be marked by one or more of the following: vague, global, unclear, or somewhat imprecise connection of the points made in the lecture to points made in the reading; omission of one major key point made in the lecture; incomplete, inaccurate, or imprecise key points or connections between the lecture and the reading; and errors of usage and/or grammar that result in vague expressions or obscured meanings in conveying ideas and connections.
Score 2: A response at this level contains some relevant information from the lecture but is marked by significant language difficulties, significant omission or inaccuracy of important ideas from the lecture, or weak connections between the lecture and the reading. It may significantly misrepresent or completely omit the overall connection between the lecture and the reading, omit or misrepresent important points from the lecture, or contain language errors or expressions that largely obscure connections or meaning, particularly for readers not familiar with the reading and the lecture.
Score 1: A response at this level is marked by one or more of the following: little or no meaningful or relevant coherent content from the lecture, and a language level so low that it is difficult to derive meaning from the response.
Score 0: A response at this level simply copies sentences from the reading, rejects the topic, is not connected to the topic, is written in a foreign language, consists of keystroke characters, or is blank.
These different levels provide a framework for evaluating the quality of responses in integrated tasks for the TOEFL iBT® Writing section.
ChatGPT assessment:
Based on the TOEFL iBT® Writing Scoring Rubric—Integrated Tasks, your response would likely score a 4.
Your response does a good job of summarizing the key points made in the lecture, and you successfully present these in relation to the reading passage. You clearly identify the contrasts between the reading and the lecture on points such as the influence of Plato and Aristotle, the concept of democracy, the influence of Stoic philosophy, and the roots of modern education.
However, there are minor inaccuracies and omissions in your response. For example, the lecture attributes the development of the scientific method not only to Aristotle but also to Ibn al-Haytham during the Islamic Golden Age, but your summary incorrectly attributes this development to Al-Heidn. Additionally, while discussing education, you mention that the professor attributes educational practices to the Egyptians, but in the lecture, the influence was attributed to Piaget, Vygotsky, and Montessori.
Also, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors which, while not obscuring your meaning, do detract from the clarity of your response. For example, phrases like "ebout ethics" and "kind of a things" are somewhat unclear, and there are instances of missing articles and prepositions.
In summary, your response is good but could be improved by more accurate representation of the lecture's content and by addressing the minor language issues.
Sure, I'd be happy to provide that for you. Here are the instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors, along with the corrected versions:
1. Original: "Both statements from the reading passage and the professor compared to each other discuss on the following paragraphs."
Correction: "The points made in both the reading passage and the lecture will be compared and discussed in the following paragraphs."
2. Original: "The reading passage mention Plato’s Forms and Aristotle’s empiricism have give significant impact to today’s Western societies’s conceptualize ideas, ideals, observation, logical deduction, etc. All of those were lead to what we call scientific method."
Correction: "The reading passage mentions that Plato’s Theory of Forms and Aristotle’s empiricism have had a significant impact on how today’s Western societies conceptualize ideas, ideals, observation, and logical deduction, among other things. All of these contribute to what we call the scientific method."
3. Original: "One person at Islamic golden age named Al-Heidn already use scientific method in the past that factfully it influence Western societies today."
Correction: "During the Islamic Golden Age, a scholar named Ibn al-Haytham already used the scientific method, which factually influenced Western societies today."
4. Original: "Differently, the professor argue this, democracy has been built from concept of human rights, which exist to today not only because ancient Greek philosopher."
Correction: "Contrarily, the professor argues that democracy has been built from the concept of human rights, which exists today not solely because of ancient Greek philosophers."
5. Original: "The next one is ebout ethics."
Correction: "The next point is about ethics."
6. Original: "The professor arguing this statement by give the fact that actually self-help or kind of a things already developed on eastern culture, for example Budhism."
Correction: "The professor argues against this statement by presenting the fact that self-help ideas and similar philosophies were already developed in Eastern cultures, for example, Buddhism."
7. Original: "Egyptian has done sophisticated system of education that adopted by western culture today."
Correction: "Education theorists such as Piaget, Vygotsky, and Montessori have developed sophisticated systems of education that have been adopted by Western cultures today."
I hope this helps! Please let me know if you have any more questions.
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